| The Ironies in Life | 11:32 PM |
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| You know what is stupid? Your friend misunderstanding you. And then causing World War 3 1/2. You have no idea.... Come on, seriously. When someone says "I don't know if we should call each other because it will cause a bomb", it EFFING OBVIOUSLY means it will be expensive. Not that I'm afraid that calling each other will cause all unsaid anger diffuse. Which of course showed me her true colours. And why she kept giving me the silent treatment.... Is it a crime that I don't check my e-mail everyday? Or the fact that I am not a fan of chatting? And is going gaga over Twilight another crime? Huh? HUH?! She left me hanging, though... When I get my results later, or when school reopens, SHOULD I talk to her? Okay, maybe not. Since I had caused the past three years of her life a miserable one. I would tell her go jump off a cliff or something but some of it is actually my fault. So I can't be going on an accusing rampage. Which really sucks. BADLY. I can't say I am sad. Maybe I am, but I don't even have the urge to cry. And I am an over sensitive biatch with somewhat unstable emotion. Anger is very miniscule. Ditto to hate. With all honesty, I don't know what I'm feeling. A little bit of everything but I just can't lay my finger on the dominant one. I feel heavy harted. But of what? Sadness? Betrayal? Confusion? I just don't know. And may never will. But I do know one small feeling which exists and is a good one. I think. LIBERATED Contradicting much? For so long I had been wondering why is she so distant and silent with me but with others, so happy and carefree. Or stressing myself out on what will her mood be tomorrow? Good? Bad? Somwhere in between? Sometimes it's just so tiring and ovewhelming. Maybe it's because I'm a bad friend. No, a horrible one. A swine. An abhorrence by my close alliance. This is really a huge shit load of mess. (Applepounce, just let me curse all I want this time, kay?) And it's the school holidays. The fucking school holidays! And I'm spending it moping and feeling down in the dumps. Ironic, huh? How trouble seems to catch us offguard at such inconvenient times. When the holiday started, she was being a bitch by ignoring me and all that crap. So I ignored it, wanting to start the holiday well. Then she decided to call me. WOW. Not. I admit I was happy because like it or not, a friend is a friend. It was great. But I hate IMing and she loves it. She wants me to call her everyday when just before the holidays started she was in her 'I'm ain't talking to you' mode. That was how the fight brew. Can you blame me for not calling her? If she was mad than just say so! Or write something! I may be a biatch a two-face bitch sometimes. And irresponsible plus a coward now and then. But I can listen to others. And if a change is needed, then I can effing change. So sue me or something. Cuz if that will make me free of all charges and let me live a happy and carefree life again, than I'm up to it. Till next time and if I don't die of depression, Hope P/s: My name sucks. Hoping just causes big disappointments every now and then. I should just become a big pessimist so whenever bad things happen I will be prepared and go "I knew that was coming". To hell about pessimists dying early. Getting your hopes crushed all the time can make you die early, too. |
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